MONEYBALL, BUT BRAD PITT’S CHARACTER LOOKS LIKE BRAD PITT
MOMENTS AFTER HE LEAVES THE ROOM…
“‘The new direction of the Oakland A’s,’ huh? Where does that guy get off?”
“Did you actually hear what he was saying?”
“That was the only thing I heard. Then I looked in his eyes and… all of a sudden the meeting was over.”
“I think he was saying something about cheekbones, maybe...”
“No, you did, you said that.”
“Yeah, he pointed at you, and you were supposed to say, “He gets on base,” but instead you just shouted the word ‘cheekbones.’”
“Oh my God... Did you say he pointed at me?.”
“What do you think he eats that makes him look like that?”
“Once, I saw him eat a salad from the restaurant across the street. I’ve eaten there every day since.”
“It hurts my feelings when he doesn’t say hi to me, but I’m more upset and confused when he does say hi to me, what do y’all make of that?”
“I had a dream about him last night and I can’t remember what it was and it makes me want to never dream again.”
“My wife caught me looking at a picture of him last month.”
“What’d she do?”
“She claims she threw it away, but she just keeps it in her car so she can look at it with the doors locked.”
“I got a bunch at my desk, what do you need? Wallet-sized? 3x5?”
“Fellas, I don’t get what the big deal is.”
“Bullshit, you wrote that song about him.”
“Yeah, “Glacier-Eyed Prince,” you sang it at the holiday party.”
“Mhm, and when you realized he didn’t stay to hear it, you locked yourself in your office until New Years.”
“My resolution this year was to practice figure drawing every morning so I’d be good before his birthday.”
“Alright, show of hands, would you call the feeling that we have toward him ‘sexual?’”
“That’s about 50/50.”
“Spiritual, definitely.”
“It’s like first love, like, when you didn’t know you could ever feel that way... Just a warm and fluttering light where there was once only boyhood innocence.”
“It’s so distracting.”
“No one has the heart to tell him that he’s why the A’s are so bad.”
“I haven’t done any work in years…”
“But you were taking notes all meeting.”
“These are poems...”
“Guys, guys, guys! We’re getting way off track here! We were… I think… trying to figure out how he gets his hair like that.”
“It seems so sturdy but… pliable?”
“He could look handsome getting blasted in the face with a leaf blower.”
“That's it. That's what the dream was.”